A Better Place

Sometimes we let our past define us as the person we see in the mirror today. Perhaps the past reminds us that we can’t escape who we really are, but this is why we create a future for ourselves: a better, healthier, and happier future. We try and reach this future as quickly as possible, quite possibly because we’re trying to hide from something or someone who we think we are or may become?  

           

            I recently burned my hand in the oven making some ribs and it hurt a lot. I mean, mentally I was fine, but physically, I was scarred for life, literally (pun intended). However, it was not anything that was going to seriously affect me or my decisions for the rest of my life. I ended up going to Laredo, Texas this weekend because I needed an original copy of my birth certificate. When I got to my grandparents house it was so hot. I felt the heat radiating on my skin as sweat glistened down my face. My first guess was the power went out, but it turned out the A/C units were turned off. Ha, I’m so dramatic.

            Anyways, being in that moment with the heat just simmering across my skin brought back this one memory. This memory is more of a common occurrence than most other memories. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good memory; moreover, a secret memory.

           

            If you’re from Laredo, Texas, you know how hot it gets during the summertime. It’s gotten up to 106 degrees before! This one summer, I must have been about 10 years old visiting my mom and my brothers. One day, the lights went out in our trailer home. At first my brothers and I were excited. Yeah, we definitely were, I guess because we thought this was somehow going to be fun and adventurous. However, after the first three hours, we were feeling quite the opposite reaction to be honest.

            I remembered we had to get ice chests and fill them with ice every night because by early afternoon the ice from the previous night would have already melted. We had to keep our food in ice chests because our refrigerator was not working. Our gas stove was working, but who wants to turn that shit on when it’s 106 degrees outside? We had to sleep on the floor in the living room at night to get the cool air from the door entrance that we’d leave open.

           

            At some point in the middle of the night, laying on the floor it hit me; I realized that we were poor. I figured out the concept of what poor was since the age of 10, maybe even earlier. The power didn’t go out, it was cut. I realized that the only way to cool down was to shower in a dark room with a candle on. I realized that it wasn’t fun or adventurous; it was just hot and uncomfortable. All I could think about was leaving somewhere, anywhere. I wanted to be in a better place.

            Pretty much since my childhood I’ve been trying to do what’s right and best for myself so that I’d never end up in a situation like that again. I’m always searching for a better place in my life and seeing how my life has turned out; I think 10-year-old Christopher would say that he couldn’t be in a better place at this moment. I’m definitely proud of the man I’ve become.

            If you take a step back and see what you all have around you, you’ll notice you’re possibly in a better place too. Although, having your future mapped out isn’t a terrible idea, trust your gut to know that you’re making the right and best decisions for yourself in your life. Enjoy your better place, it’s happening…now or sooner than you know!

Editor: Jared Cobble

Avatar Day!

Avatar: The Last Airbender is a cartoon show about a kid by the name of Aang who has the power to control the water, air, fire and earth elements. He also has the power to go into the Avatar state, which allows him to become faster, stronger and better at using his abilities to control the elements. You may be thinking that this cartoon show is exactly what I just called it, a kid show, but it’s so much more.

            I started watching this show when my roommates introduced it to me back in July summer of 2014. However, the first time I ever saw anything related to this show was when I went to the movie theater to see its first live action movie (don’t see the movie, it’s a trap!). I actually went to the movies to go see Avatar (the blue monkey people) but the ticket person gave me the ticket for Avatar: The Last Airbender instead.

[Side note: I was waiting for the blue avatar people the whole time the movie started, it wasn’t until after the movie I realized it was the wrong film.]

            This show has many life lessons that help you understand what it is you’re going through, not as a child or an adult but as a human being. The many struggles that this cast endures are heart breaking.

            Whether you’ve lost your son in battle like Uncle Iroh did..

             Or sometimes you just feel lost in the world like Avatar Aang..

                   

            Maybe your father walked out on you and you had to be the man of the house like Soka..

          

            Perhaps you’ve lost a parent and you just don’t know what do anymore like Katara..

          

            Or maybe your father kicked you out of your home like Zukos dad did to him..

       

            This show hit every major life issue you’d never expect to happen to you and the “feels” come out.

            Besides being entertaining with intense bending action and witty script-writing, this show also expresses feminism culture at its best! The majority of cast of Avatar: The Last Airbender are females with powerful roles that bring men crawling to their knees. These roles vary from the Kyoshi Warriors; masterful water bender Katara; earth, and first metal bender (spoiler) Toph; and princess Azula from the Fire nation and leader of a group of assassins trying to hunt down the Avatar. We haven’t even touched base on Legend of Korra, which happens to be the next Avatar after Avatar Aang.

            Korra is the new avatar and in this series of Legend of Korra she makes friends and battles a new kind of evil. Feminism only begins to touch base in the Avatar: The Last Airbender, while in LOK (Legend of Korra) it explodes with greatness. There’s nothing better than seeing fierce women kick some butt with some beautiful bending moves. Here, we have Avatar Korra, then we have police justice Chief Beifong, one of the greatest metal benders of all, along with non-bender Asami whose ninja reflexes you wouldn’t want to get in the way of and so many more inspirational women.

            These shows are the type of shows everyone should be watching because these life problems are happening everywhere and they’re happening now. 10 years ago today, Avatar: The Last Airbender was given to us as a gift to watch and learn. Let’s celebrate by viewing this show and experiencing pure perfection.

Editor: Jared Cobble 

Social GApp

“Are you a top or a bttm?”, “Can you host for three people?”, and “Let me suck your d*ck” are just a few introductory greetings that most, if not all Grindr users will receive.  Or you might be one of those people who receive an unwanted “d*ick pic.” If it hasn’t happened, trust me, it will. But that’s okay, right?

Dating has revolutionized itself onto your desktops, phone screens and right from your bed at 1:00 a.m. People have become comfortable with the fact that meeting and having conversations via app is more acceptable than giving the possibility of meeting someone in person like at your local coffee shop.

I remember when I first downloaded Grindr I was very hesitant to getting one, but nevertheless I made a profile. I entered a world that I didn’t really want to be associated with.  But dating has seriously changed in the world, so I tried it out. Some of the messages I received are stated above in the beginning of this blog entry. To most of them I replied by saying nothing at all. Then, I quickly realized that most of the people on Grindr had the mentality of “get in, get out, go home,” literally. Their mission was clear. Sex.

The creepiest part of Grindr is when people have a profile but don’t have a profile. By that I mean, people who have a profile on Grindr, but don’t have a profile picture, a name, or a bio description and greet you with, “Looking?” And I’m like, “Yeah, I am looking…looking for the ‘block’ button.” If you’re like me, then you enjoy having conversations with people eye to eye. So why on earth will I have a conversation with someone who I don’t know who I’m looking at?

I ended up deleting the app, but not before I actually met someone on this app in person. It turned out to be the same person; however, the pictures he sent me were like from 5 years ago. He looked nothing like he did in the photos he sent me and when he saw me, I knew for a fact that he knew what he did was wrong. I felt awkward trying to cancel our plans. He was really timid and hardly said anything to me. I had to brew up most of the conversations from my end. I also remember texting my roommate immediately letting him know the situation I was in. I even wore these combat boots just in case things got a little crazy (I worked with what I had).

Dating online is so easy, which is why most of us do it. But just as easy as it is to find someone, it’s easier to just let them go, cutting any communication with that person and just moving on to the next. It’s that simple, but terrifying. You rob the importance and confidence of a person by asking if they’re a bottom or a top, or if they’re “DTF” (down to have sex).

If we continue to hide behind these screens and ignore interpersonal communication, then how authentic can we actually say we are? An online conversation that lasts hours, maybe even days gets you nowhere.

[Read: 10:32 p.m.] but never replies back after hours of chatting.

I recently added the social app Tinder and I’ve come to really like it. It’s less sketchy and more up to speed. However, this runs as fast as speed dating. A finger swipe to the right means “yes” and finger swipe to the left means “no,” but we get so caught up in finger swiping that we don’t even care who we’re really saying “yes” or “no” to. And when there’s a match between you and a person, a match means both individuals swiped right on each other; however, the conversation never starts, but that’s OKAY because we still have the power to swipe “yes” or “no” to someone else. Am I right? I love social media, but sometimes social media doesn’t love me, or you, or anyone for that matter.

Everyone is special. I think about my world and my life and I think, “Shit, I’m pretty special” and you are too. But don’t forget about the other billion people in this world too, they’re just as special. They have a life and it’s just as important as yours. Show everyone how important they are with a face-to-face conversation and get to know them. People don’t bite. We live in a world where we’re always connected with people, but couldn’t be further away from each other. Welcome to the Social GApp. 

Edited by: Jared Cobble

Being a Twenty-Something.

Being in your 20’s should be about discovering who you are as a person, experiencing your likes and even your dislikes. These years are for soul searching within ourselves. It’s our quality time with ourselves. As twenty-something’s we should be free to do whatever we want and whenever we want. So why do we constantly strive for a serious relationship with a significant other?

I met this guy about a month ago and because of my need to constantly meet new people I started to chat with him on Facebook. And he seemed pretty cool and to be honest, he was pretty cute. The following week of meeting him via Facebook, I met him at a party I had before school started up again. We met, laughed, drank and had a great time. I should remind you I had no real intention of actually being more than just friends with him. I even told him that I wasn’t looking for anything serious with anyone. However since I’m a twenty-something university student it would only be right and wrong to see where this would go. 

Eventually we ended up making out but that was about it. The following weekend I had a game night and had close friends over and I invited my new friend over as well. I started to drink, as did everyone else and we had fun. I remember later that night a friend, my new friend and I went to this Mexican restaurant. We started to talk about how our, as in everyone’s, love life. And all it took was for me to say, “ I’m not really looking for a serious relationship right now,” to kill the vibe. 

That same night he told me, “ Look I really like you a lot, so what are we?” This took me by surprise because I thought we were friends. I mean I didn’t give him any compliments that gave him the impression that we were something serious besides making out. But two weeks isn’t long enough to say you know someone well enough to say, “I like you”. We just met two weeks ago and only saw each other like twice in person. That isn’t enough time for me to say, “I like you” back. Side note: He also told me that he was Pisces, which he later described as ‘patient’ and they ‘go with the flow’. I thought it was ironic how he wasn’t patient and didn’t going with the flow. 

The point that I’m trying to emphasize is that being a twenty-something means constant change. It means freedom in every direction. It means trying out a new activity because you might show interest in it. I knew him for two weeks and he already liked me, and he didn’t hesitate to clarify it. It might sound selfish, but this is your life. This is your only life. Why are we ready to settle down when we’re in this age of knowing that in a year from now everything is going to be different? 

Deep down inside we know that a year from now we’re going to be different people who love new music, we’re going to have new friends but more importantly we’re going to be better. We’ll have a better path routed in front of us and we’re going to want to take it. This path will lead us to new friends, new job opportunities, a better social life and thus, maybe a possible relationship with someone whose worked on her or himself just as much as you have. Why not? You’ve earned it. 

If we settle down now, as a twenty-something, how would be know what we like and what we dislike? Now, I’m not saying that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is bad. I’ve been in a relationship before. You end up spending so much of your time on your significant other, which is perfectly fine. I’ve done it before. But having the mindset that you need to be in a relationship at this age when you don’t even know who you are is a little crazy. Give yourself time to work on “me time” so in the future you’re a better you, I mean doesn’t everyone want to be a better person? Explore yourself before you explore someone else. People aren’t going to like you for what you’re going to do, people are going to like you for what you did.