A Better Place

Sometimes we let our past define us as the person we see in the mirror today. Perhaps the past reminds us that we can’t escape who we really are, but this is why we create a future for ourselves: a better, healthier, and happier future. We try and reach this future as quickly as possible, quite possibly because we’re trying to hide from something or someone who we think we are or may become?  

           

            I recently burned my hand in the oven making some ribs and it hurt a lot. I mean, mentally I was fine, but physically, I was scarred for life, literally (pun intended). However, it was not anything that was going to seriously affect me or my decisions for the rest of my life. I ended up going to Laredo, Texas this weekend because I needed an original copy of my birth certificate. When I got to my grandparents house it was so hot. I felt the heat radiating on my skin as sweat glistened down my face. My first guess was the power went out, but it turned out the A/C units were turned off. Ha, I’m so dramatic.

            Anyways, being in that moment with the heat just simmering across my skin brought back this one memory. This memory is more of a common occurrence than most other memories. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good memory; moreover, a secret memory.

           

            If you’re from Laredo, Texas, you know how hot it gets during the summertime. It’s gotten up to 106 degrees before! This one summer, I must have been about 10 years old visiting my mom and my brothers. One day, the lights went out in our trailer home. At first my brothers and I were excited. Yeah, we definitely were, I guess because we thought this was somehow going to be fun and adventurous. However, after the first three hours, we were feeling quite the opposite reaction to be honest.

            I remembered we had to get ice chests and fill them with ice every night because by early afternoon the ice from the previous night would have already melted. We had to keep our food in ice chests because our refrigerator was not working. Our gas stove was working, but who wants to turn that shit on when it’s 106 degrees outside? We had to sleep on the floor in the living room at night to get the cool air from the door entrance that we’d leave open.

           

            At some point in the middle of the night, laying on the floor it hit me; I realized that we were poor. I figured out the concept of what poor was since the age of 10, maybe even earlier. The power didn’t go out, it was cut. I realized that the only way to cool down was to shower in a dark room with a candle on. I realized that it wasn’t fun or adventurous; it was just hot and uncomfortable. All I could think about was leaving somewhere, anywhere. I wanted to be in a better place.

            Pretty much since my childhood I’ve been trying to do what’s right and best for myself so that I’d never end up in a situation like that again. I’m always searching for a better place in my life and seeing how my life has turned out; I think 10-year-old Christopher would say that he couldn’t be in a better place at this moment. I’m definitely proud of the man I’ve become.

            If you take a step back and see what you all have around you, you’ll notice you’re possibly in a better place too. Although, having your future mapped out isn’t a terrible idea, trust your gut to know that you’re making the right and best decisions for yourself in your life. Enjoy your better place, it’s happening…now or sooner than you know!

Editor: Jared Cobble