Being a Twenty-Something.

Being in your 20’s should be about discovering who you are as a person, experiencing your likes and even your dislikes. These years are for soul searching within ourselves. It’s our quality time with ourselves. As twenty-something’s we should be free to do whatever we want and whenever we want. So why do we constantly strive for a serious relationship with a significant other?

I met this guy about a month ago and because of my need to constantly meet new people I started to chat with him on Facebook. And he seemed pretty cool and to be honest, he was pretty cute. The following week of meeting him via Facebook, I met him at a party I had before school started up again. We met, laughed, drank and had a great time. I should remind you I had no real intention of actually being more than just friends with him. I even told him that I wasn’t looking for anything serious with anyone. However since I’m a twenty-something university student it would only be right and wrong to see where this would go. 

Eventually we ended up making out but that was about it. The following weekend I had a game night and had close friends over and I invited my new friend over as well. I started to drink, as did everyone else and we had fun. I remember later that night a friend, my new friend and I went to this Mexican restaurant. We started to talk about how our, as in everyone’s, love life. And all it took was for me to say, “ I’m not really looking for a serious relationship right now,” to kill the vibe. 

That same night he told me, “ Look I really like you a lot, so what are we?” This took me by surprise because I thought we were friends. I mean I didn’t give him any compliments that gave him the impression that we were something serious besides making out. But two weeks isn’t long enough to say you know someone well enough to say, “I like you”. We just met two weeks ago and only saw each other like twice in person. That isn’t enough time for me to say, “I like you” back. Side note: He also told me that he was Pisces, which he later described as ‘patient’ and they ‘go with the flow’. I thought it was ironic how he wasn’t patient and didn’t going with the flow. 

The point that I’m trying to emphasize is that being a twenty-something means constant change. It means freedom in every direction. It means trying out a new activity because you might show interest in it. I knew him for two weeks and he already liked me, and he didn’t hesitate to clarify it. It might sound selfish, but this is your life. This is your only life. Why are we ready to settle down when we’re in this age of knowing that in a year from now everything is going to be different? 

Deep down inside we know that a year from now we’re going to be different people who love new music, we’re going to have new friends but more importantly we’re going to be better. We’ll have a better path routed in front of us and we’re going to want to take it. This path will lead us to new friends, new job opportunities, a better social life and thus, maybe a possible relationship with someone whose worked on her or himself just as much as you have. Why not? You’ve earned it. 

If we settle down now, as a twenty-something, how would be know what we like and what we dislike? Now, I’m not saying that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is bad. I’ve been in a relationship before. You end up spending so much of your time on your significant other, which is perfectly fine. I’ve done it before. But having the mindset that you need to be in a relationship at this age when you don’t even know who you are is a little crazy. Give yourself time to work on “me time” so in the future you’re a better you, I mean doesn’t everyone want to be a better person? Explore yourself before you explore someone else. People aren’t going to like you for what you’re going to do, people are going to like you for what you did.