Social GApp

“Are you a top or a bttm?”, “Can you host for three people?”, and “Let me suck your d*ck” are just a few introductory greetings that most, if not all Grindr users will receive.  Or you might be one of those people who receive an unwanted “d*ick pic.” If it hasn’t happened, trust me, it will. But that’s okay, right?

Dating has revolutionized itself onto your desktops, phone screens and right from your bed at 1:00 a.m. People have become comfortable with the fact that meeting and having conversations via app is more acceptable than giving the possibility of meeting someone in person like at your local coffee shop.

I remember when I first downloaded Grindr I was very hesitant to getting one, but nevertheless I made a profile. I entered a world that I didn’t really want to be associated with.  But dating has seriously changed in the world, so I tried it out. Some of the messages I received are stated above in the beginning of this blog entry. To most of them I replied by saying nothing at all. Then, I quickly realized that most of the people on Grindr had the mentality of “get in, get out, go home,” literally. Their mission was clear. Sex.

The creepiest part of Grindr is when people have a profile but don’t have a profile. By that I mean, people who have a profile on Grindr, but don’t have a profile picture, a name, or a bio description and greet you with, “Looking?” And I’m like, “Yeah, I am looking…looking for the ‘block’ button.” If you’re like me, then you enjoy having conversations with people eye to eye. So why on earth will I have a conversation with someone who I don’t know who I’m looking at?

I ended up deleting the app, but not before I actually met someone on this app in person. It turned out to be the same person; however, the pictures he sent me were like from 5 years ago. He looked nothing like he did in the photos he sent me and when he saw me, I knew for a fact that he knew what he did was wrong. I felt awkward trying to cancel our plans. He was really timid and hardly said anything to me. I had to brew up most of the conversations from my end. I also remember texting my roommate immediately letting him know the situation I was in. I even wore these combat boots just in case things got a little crazy (I worked with what I had).

Dating online is so easy, which is why most of us do it. But just as easy as it is to find someone, it’s easier to just let them go, cutting any communication with that person and just moving on to the next. It’s that simple, but terrifying. You rob the importance and confidence of a person by asking if they’re a bottom or a top, or if they’re “DTF” (down to have sex).

If we continue to hide behind these screens and ignore interpersonal communication, then how authentic can we actually say we are? An online conversation that lasts hours, maybe even days gets you nowhere.

[Read: 10:32 p.m.] but never replies back after hours of chatting.

I recently added the social app Tinder and I’ve come to really like it. It’s less sketchy and more up to speed. However, this runs as fast as speed dating. A finger swipe to the right means “yes” and finger swipe to the left means “no,” but we get so caught up in finger swiping that we don’t even care who we’re really saying “yes” or “no” to. And when there’s a match between you and a person, a match means both individuals swiped right on each other; however, the conversation never starts, but that’s OKAY because we still have the power to swipe “yes” or “no” to someone else. Am I right? I love social media, but sometimes social media doesn’t love me, or you, or anyone for that matter.

Everyone is special. I think about my world and my life and I think, “Shit, I’m pretty special” and you are too. But don’t forget about the other billion people in this world too, they’re just as special. They have a life and it’s just as important as yours. Show everyone how important they are with a face-to-face conversation and get to know them. People don’t bite. We live in a world where we’re always connected with people, but couldn’t be further away from each other. Welcome to the Social GApp. 

Edited by: Jared Cobble